I don't know about you, but I am excellent at intellectualizing what I have learned in therapy and sharing it with to whoever will listen, but have struggled greatly to utilize them properly because in the moments I need them, I do not feel safe enough to slow down and see them as an option.
Totally unrelated, I hold the belief that the systems-that-be wish to keep us in a trauma response and distrusting ourselves so we lean to them for some relief and "security". When we feel unsafe, there is no time for thinking of creative solutions.
Our trauma response has been to move toward the attributes and feelings of safety via:
Comfort
Certainty
Control
We believe that once we attain these things (spoiler alert: we never do), then we can afford to delve into our personal wants and needs.
But real safety is in community and collaboration, which can only be built via:
Conflict Acceptance
Critical Thinking
Compassion
The difference is valuing Preparation, over Privilege. Going for skills instead of attributes. Focusing on the journey, not the destination. You get it...
We have everything we need to live a life that is about living, not surviving, but we have to slow down and see where we are first...